Belonging

Friday morning I got a call from my mom that her older sister, my aunt Betty, passed away. She fought a hard battle against lung cancer, and while it’s always hard to say good-bye, her death meant the end of suffering and so there was relief amidst the sorrow. My sister and I began making plans to drive to Mississippi to attend the memorial service. The distance is long, but this is my family, and I will be there when we say good-bye to Aunt Betty.

Later Friday afternoon, I got another phone call. This time the news took me by surprise. Merlin Yoder, a man of utmost character, who loved his wife and kids, who farmed the land with passion, who rode miles upon miles on his bike just for the sheer joy of it, was badly injured in a farming accident. His injuries were extensive and the prognosis was grim. He passed away early Monday morning.

My heart broke as I got the news of his passing. I knew that his death would rock the community of Pigeon, Michigan, my home. Those of us who grew up around Merlin and his wife, Pat, began sharing memories on Facebook. Several times throughout the day, I found myself wiping away the tears as I recalled my own memories.

In this, I saw demonstrated what I love most about my hometown: We are a community. We support each other. We love each other. We belong to one another. And even for those of us who have moved onto other places around the globe, we still belong.

In the case of my aunt Betty, we are related. Our blood lines flow from the same source. My mother’s sister. I loved her sassiness. I feared her sassiness. And despite the miles between us, we belonged to each other.

As I reflect on this concept of belonging, I am struck by this: If we did not belong, we would have less grief, it’s true. But, we would also experience less joy. For it is in the belonging to others that we share our lives, both the triumphs and the sorrows.

So today, I’m thankful for my people. My clan. My homies. My tribe. My peeps. My family, whether we are connected by bloodlines or not. They are part of who I have become.

To the Yoder Family: I share in your grief. Merlin influenced my life and I will be forever grateful for the opportunity to know him. If I could find a way to transcend time and geography, I would be in Pigeon on Thursday to celebrate his life with you. Instead, I will be heading south to stand by my mom as we celebrate my aunt Betty. But, no matter, we belong to one another, and for that I thank God.